


Sanity Slippage (Model Behavior parody)

by obiwanbanana66



Category: Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown - All Media Types, Yandere Simulator (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Model Behavior (song), Parody, comment to improve the work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 15:23:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13056729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obiwanbanana66/pseuds/obiwanbanana66
Summary: Osana Najimi's cell phone is broken, and she's stuck using her boyfriend's stupid old landline. When she returns to her apartment, she discovers twenty-seven disturbing messages from her childhood friend...





	Sanity Slippage (Model Behavior parody)

**Author's Note:**

> To understand this parody, listen to Model Behavior from the musical Women On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown. Women On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown is a musical with music and lyrics by David Yazbek and a book by Jeffery Lane. I do not own any of the material from it, nor do I own any material from Yandere Simulator. The only thing I've done here is take some liberty with the lyrics, to create a parody about our favorite Senpai rapidly losing his sanity. :)

One summer has passed since Ayano Aishi’s senior year. She has successfully eliminated all of her rivals, and Taro Yamada -- her Senpai -- has accepted her confession. Taro is somewhat traditional, and, although he is completely devoted to Ayano, did not want to move in with her at first. Thankfully, just one week after he and Ayano started university, his parents urgently had to travel overseas. They haven’t returned. He has accepted Ayano’s generous offer to let him stay with her until his parents come back.

 

Meanwhile. Osana Najimi has been living happy for some time with Riku Soma, her boyfriend...

 

_ Osana enters the apartment at night. _

 

OSANA: Ugh! I can’t believe Riku still uses such an old phone. Saikou had better fix my cell soon.

 

_ She notices a light blinking on the phone. _

 

OSANA: What’s this...?

 

PHONE: You have twenty-seven messages.

 

TARO’S VOICE: Osana? Osana, it’s me, are you there? Call me!

 

OSANA: What the -- Taro?

 

_ The next message starts. _

 

TARO: Hi. It’s me, again. Taro. Where are you? Call me when you get this, okay? Okay!

 

_ The next message starts.  _

 

TARO: Osana? Osana!

 

_ The next message starts. Cue music. _

 

TARO: Osana,

It’s me again. Why aren’t you picking up the phone?

It’s like my brain is gonna melt if I don’t talk to you.

I got a problem in the shower and I’ve only got a minute,

Cause the problem in the shower is the girl that I’ve been dating, yeah, Ayano.

And I’ve been living in her house until my parents show.

I know we haven’t dated that long and you think I’m overly romantic,

But you wouldn’t believe the connection we have, like the second she confessed I was ready for her to meet my mom.

Like, I could feel my heart exploding like some kind of bomb.

Which is ironic because actually I think she literally has some kind of --

[spoken] Anyway, Grandpa, happy birthday, say hello to Grandma and be sure to take your --

That was her!

 

[sung] You must think I’m going crazy, yeah, well, so do I.

She thinks I’m smart and she reads books like Catcher in the Rye.

Listen, call me when you hear this, I’ll be here for half an hour.

Call me back!

 

_ Next message starts. _

 

TARO: Osana,

Are you there? Are you there? Are you...

Okay you’re not there but we need to talk.

My stomach’s aching like I swallowed some enormous rock.

I’m at the phone booth on the corner and I’ve only got a minute 

Cause I’m running out of change cause I’ve been lending all my money to Ayano.

God knows with girls I’m not exactly on a lucky streak.

But this one really is a mess, I think I’m gonna freak.

I know you say I’m an alarmist,

But I’m not, remember there’s that time I thought I saw a spider,

But you said, “Nah, it’s a raisin,”

But it suddenly started moving and it crawled over and bit me on the toe.

So if you’re gonna stand in judgement that’s how much you know!

It’s a good thing I didn’t eat it, but I never would have eaten it,

Cause I never did like raisins so why would there be a raisin on the floor?

So if you’re gonna call me back I’ll wait a little more.

I’ll be at 773 -- damn, they scratched out the number. And misspelled vagina?

All right I’m hanging up, I’ll call you back!

 

_ By this time, Osana has realized something has gone very wrong. The next message starts. _

 

TARO: Osana.

Okay I’m trying you again, it’s afternoon.

It’s like my eyes are gonna pop if I don’t get you soon.

I’m at uni now, which sucks because I’m having trouble working 

Cause the only thing I think about’s this crazy situation with Ayano.

Is this just cause I kept you waiting all that time ago?

I know you think that I'm an idiot, but actually, I’m practical,

And dammit, I study literature so I feel things more deeply than most guys normally do!

And anyway I think my life might be in danger too.

You won’t believe what she’s got hidden in the --

Kizana goes here? Wow, she’s lost a lot of weight though,

And she’s got that thing removed she just looks...

Osana. Riku. She says hello.

And now she’s saying class is starting so I’ve got to go.

We’ve got a poem due today, and God, I really tried.

I had to equalize a cupcake and a suicide.

They say that it’s kawaii. 

Call me back!

 

_ Next message. _

 

TARO: Osana. It’s eight. I don’t know why these are not going through.

 

_ Next message. _

 

TARO: Osana. It’s almost ten o’clock. Ayano’s right; you are a terrible friend!

 

_ Next message. _

 

TARO: Osana, I’m sorry, I’ve never felt so frightened and alone.

I’m like a damaged little kitten up a --

HEY! I’M ON THE FUCKING PHONE!

Please call me back.

 

_ Next message. _

 

TARO: Osana, it’s midnight, did you block me?

 

_ Next message. _

 

TARO: It’s three a.m., you have to call me.

 

_ Next message. _

 

TARO: I would never do this to you, I’m sorry I never used to get up on time -- 

 

_ Next message. _

 

TARO: What was the name of that sushi I like?

 

_ Next message. _

 

AYANO: Osana. Osana, sweetheart. Listen carefully. I need to tell you --

 

PHONE: Tape is full. End of messages.

 

_ Osana flips out and throws the phone against the wall.  _

 

TARO: Osana,

Okay now even your machine’s ignoring me.

Listen. Osana, I know you think I’m needy, but you’ve got to see.

I’m feeling kinda woozy, I’ve been crying for an hour,

And my girlfriend’s got an Uzi and she makes me clean the shower

And I don’t know where you are.

I don’t know where I am. 

I’m halfway up a tree and completely in a jam.

I’m down here in the basement and nobody gives a damn!

 

Osana? Osana! Osana...

Call me back!

**Author's Note:**

> Since we don't know Osana's matchmaking student yet, I just went with Riku Soma, even though he's currently Kokona's. When we find out who Osana's is, I'll most likely change this.
> 
> If you have any idea on how the parody would be better, please leave them in the comments! I think it'd be fun to make this into a cover/animatic someday. Thanks for participating!


End file.
